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So this blog goes out to all of you out there who are either teachers, have kids, or have small infantile siblings. I have noticed that since I've been living and working abroad I've gotten sicker on more occasions than normal. Taking into account my new diet and my new environment I wasn't too quick to point any fingers. However, after some investigating I am confident on whom to blame. It's because of my students!

Understand that children are not the most cleanliest of creatures. They like to wipe their hands and give you a Hi-five in the same motion and think nothing of it. Maybe it's because I am a germophobe but I honestly cringe every time a little kid sneeze's and asks me for a hug. UGH!! It makes me queasy just thinking about it.


As a result of this never ending waves of sickness, that my students pass off to me, I had to make a video about what had happened to me the other day while I was teaching class. It was a moment where all speculation of "I wonder if I'm sick" turned into "Yeah, I know I'm sick." And since I've been spending some quality time with my friends Chicken Noodle Soup, Vitamin C and The Bed I thought I would make a short video for ya!

Sick...Again from Joey Johnson on Vimeo.

While living and working abroad I have noticed that I've been getting sick at a higher rate that usual. This video is about kids and germs...enjoy!

I'm back! Please hold all of you applause until the end, please. I'm switching it up in this post. Instead of writing a boring article for you to read I decided to make a boring video....(See? I told you to hold your applause).

But seriously I had a great time at this drum performance regardless of how random it was. And to commemorate this day I have hired a new staff member on the minimalist of wage $0.00 Take that OSHA! The character, Kevin Steel, will be played by myself on my Expat News show. So without further ado lets watch the embodiment of my neurosis fly out of control in: KIDNAPPED!

Everyones favorite neurotic news anchor, Kevin Steel, has returned for another installment of Expat News. While Joe describes a recent drum performance it is ruined by Kevin's interpretation of Joe's story.

So all my hard work has finally paid off. Just in time too! My poor refrigerator was over here making threats. It was crying about something like "Child Protective Services" I don't know?




Enough about my refrigerators emotional outbursts; I once ate Ramen for an entire week and I didn't cry about it! (It's called College). But seriously, I was getting anxious about when I would be getting paid. Although everything is quite cheap in Korea I would like to open a bank account, set up a direct deposit, and get a cell phone as quickly as possible with the money that I had been working for. Besides the world needs me mobile!



Above is a what you could expect from your employer for your first paycheck. Since I am still waiting for my Alien Registration Card I will have to wait a little longer until I can set up a direct deposit with my employer. This green note is 10,000 Won which is the equivalent to about the U.S. 10 dollar bill. I put the iPod nano in the picture for scale.

In all honesty I don't plan to go out clubbin' or blow it on frivolous things. Instead I plan to save up and pay down these college loans. I previously tried to pay off my debts by offering my Loan Lender a Hi-5 and a hug for each dollar that I owe but they still only take "legal tender" pssh!

This is my very 1st published/posted video. I actually have 4 in the works but they need a lot of editing so keep your eyes peeled for them. Now before you play it, just remember that I haven't lost my mind. This was a request that my friends Luc and Darnell who gave me the concept and then I decided, meh- "why not?" Prepare to laugh~

Payday!! from Joey Johnson on Vimeo.

Yesterday was the beginning of a very long journey from Portland, Oregon to Incheon, South Korea. This particular day when I left at 4am for the airport the state of Oregon felt the need to come down with a week's worth of rain in the course of 2 hours. Have you ever driven on a highway going to 70 mph in what feels like a monsoon and you couldn't see more than 8 feet in front of you? Good because you REALLY don't want to; it felt like I was going to hydroplane and die before I even got this adventure started.

Unfortunately the wet road was no match for my AMAZING driving ability! After arriving at the airport with 3 pieces of luggage I hit road block number 1 almost immediately*.

*Now if you are like me and you have not been to an airport in a really long time you might have forgotten some of the airport protocol. Rule number 1 - TAKE ONLY 2 PIECES OF LUGGAGE.

Now you could choose to follow the rules or be like me and disregard any piece of logical reason, but be prepared to pay the price! Just because I choose to keep my 3rd piece of luggage I was charged $350 dollars! "There goes my milk money!"

The first flight from Portland to San Francisco was easy but I dreaded the 2 hour layover and my extremely long second flight to South Korea. On the second flight to Korea I was pleased to know we were being served food not once, not twice but 3 times! I was ecstatic! I've lived with my mom for weeks and she barely even cooks for me. Now for the first meal we had some traditional "Bi-Bim-Bab." Now the word literally means "Mixed Rice" and is served with either a Beef, Wild Greens or Octopus base. With this meal you have the vegetables in front of you in a bowl and a pouch of rice on the side. Put the rice on top and then you can choose to use the supplied sweet and spicy red pepper paste along with the sesame seed oil provided to add a mild tangy flavor to your dish. This was served with a soup, a selection of fresh pineapple slices, a light soup made with bits of squid and sliced onions, and a side of noodles. Ahhh perfection!



While the first dish was exciting, new, and damn delicious the other two meals were a boring; a ham and cheese sandwich and grilled chicken with vegetables :(

Arriving at the airport I passed through immigration check and was picked up by my recruiter in no time. After being in a plane for over 10 hours I would have been happy to have seen ANYBODY! I'm just saying, if Ronald McDonald had been standing there to greet me I would have hopped into his McRollesRoyce!



But after my recruiter met me he bought me a bus ticket a bus ticket and said "Bye." This pissed me off because I was feeling that we had made a connection in the last 8 minutes.

So in bus ride I head into the city of Uijeongbu where I was picked up my employer. Now my employer Jackie was in a medium sized van with his adorable 4 year old daughter Hara . So I had the pleasure of meeting both of them in while Hera forced both of us to listen to Barney sing along songs throughout the last part of trip.

Now finally at my apartment I met the rest of the family/employers. Jenny, Jackie's wife, was with her two boys Kenny (14) and Hanu (1) and did not hesitate to help me with my enormous bags while Hanu was on her back. While I insisted her not to with the baby, all was lost in translation. Once inside my cultural lesson began with Jenny at the helm. "Here in Korea we take off our shoes and put on house shoes once inside the building" she exclaimed.

Now on the third floor of this 4 story building I was shown my apartment. They told me to take my time and rest while they changed. Mind you at this point I lost an entire day because of the 16 hour time shift, so I rushed to the bed and curled up.

After about 25 minutes of solitude Jenny comes knocking, "Joey, you look tired. You need eat now!" With no energy left to contest I followed her back downstairs where the whole family was waiting for me in the van. At night the city was beautiful but I can't recall much of the evening because of how tired I was. The food was amazing and they were willing to share much of the language and the culture with me. The last thing I remember was little Hera whispering to her mother while looking at me. Clearly aware that she was talking about me I raised an eyebrow awaiting her question. Jenny quickly tapped Hana on the head and told her to "Ask him yourself, don't be so shy?"

Without missing a beat I responded "Yeah Hera, don't be shy. I won't be mad I promise." Now Hera was completely frozen as the room fell silent and how quick I was to embrace conflict. I laughed and urged her again "Ahh Hera, go ahead. You can ask me." Hera's eyes now were on her mother pleading for her assistance. Jenny rolled her eyes and said, "Hera wants to know why you have one earring in your ear?"

I laughed and looked at her while simultaneously placing my hand on my chin in order to strike an exaggerated pose and said, "Hera darling...That's how I roll!"

Joe - OUT!!